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How to gain confidence in you and your style?

I talk about confidence a lot on this blog and how important this factor is to look stylish and comfortable. But how can you gain that confidence and show it off to the world?

Let’s start with a personal story

When I came to Singapore about 9 years ago, my style was very casual. Coming from The Netherlands, where the dressing sense is practical first and foremost and then 7 years in Australia, where casual absolutely rules, my wardrobe was filled with t-shirts and 3 quarter pants. I had no handbags apart from 2 or 3 practical backpacks and no heels.

In Singapore I had to adapt to a new climate and a new community where style was celebrated at a higher level.

I started looking at some of my new friends, who dressed a lot in spaghetti type tops with embellishments. Soon I had quite a few of those as well.

However, it soon became apparent that I did not feel comfortable in those tops.

They highlighted my bust and upper chest, which is an area I like to downplay.

The style was much too revealing and I was cold half the time indoors (where there is too much air-conditioning).

I did not feel fabulous in those tops at all!

It took me a while to figure out what I liked and what suits ME.

Here are some of my tips on how to get confidence in your style and way of dressing and how to figure out what is right for you

Get to know what you like

Record how you feel when you wear certain items. If an outfit does not make you feel confident and fabulous, then it is not the right outfit for you and you should either think about wearing the components in a different way or donate them.

A lot of confidence comes from knowing who you are and what you like. For any clothes to work for you, it is important that they suit your style personality.

When the clothes suit you as a person, this will come through in your confidence levels. You could start by taking this quick and fun personality quiz.

Get to know your body

Another factor is knowing what suits your specific body. When you choose clothes that you know will fit you and make you look better, you will automatically have more confidence. You can start by figuring out which body type you have.

Then start thinking about those parts that you like about your body and want to highlight. Also know those parts that you want to downplay. Choose those clothes that make you feel good about yourself.

Notice what delights you

Start noticing and writing down what delights you in the clothes of others and then start adding those elements to your own wardrobe.

Take a few risks

It’s impossible to grow in terms of style if you never try something new or step a little bit out of your comfort zone. When you have noticed what you like in the style of others, apply some of those components to your own style.

Do it in small steps though. If you feel that you get happy from seeing more color on others, start adding a scarf or belt.

Then, when that feels good and makes you feel happier about your outfit and more confident, do some more of it.

Fake it!

If you don’t feel very upbeat or confident on a particular day, you can fake it!

I know that when I know I look good, I can pretend I have a lot of confidence. That is why it is especially important that I look good for important business meetings or when I need to do a presentation. Knowing that at least I look very presentable, is giving me a boost. 

If you feel like you have ‘nothing to wear’ on a day like that (which usually happens when you’re feeling down) choose an outfit which you have worn before and that you know you felt great in!

I’m now dressing like ME and it shows

I never wear those spaghetti straps tops anymore. Unless I wear them with something on top.

I have found my own signature style, like draped fabrics, asymmetry and the dress / tunic over pants silhouette.

I embrace color, silk, accessories and shoes. Backpacks are a thing of the past.

I feel I have come a long way in terms of style. I know and understand myself and my style so much better and as a result look and feel so much better.

If you are struggling to find YOUR particular style, then consider my style courses, which can really help.

40+Style’s unique style course helps you discover your own true style. The course will take you on a journey of discovery about your style preferences and will give you more confidence in YOU, your style and your dressing!

I would love to hear your feedback on this! How did you get confidence in your style?


January 11, 2016